Thursday, August 3, 2017


In the formal Red Hat Society mission statement, “freedom” comes right after “fun” and “friendship” as one of our primary values.  Of course, we’re not referring to freedom in a political sense; we are talking about something a little harder to pin down.   Some of us have trouble shaking off imaginary shackles, many of them self-imposed.  There are plenty of adults in this world who cannot begin to really have fun (our primary value) until they deliberately confront, and face down, their own (perhaps unnecessarily stern) codes of behavior.

Psychologists tell us that we soak up vast amounts of “shoulds”  and “should nots” as we grow up, some of them from our biological parents and some of them learned from other, not necessarily benign, societal norms.  A lot of them are surely worthwhile.  But some of them are not.  Some of them only cause us to be afraid of change or stuck in unhealthy patterns. It’s up to each one of us to sort through our own “stuff”, though doing so may cause us a good deal of discomfort.  Only by doing this can we come up with our own personal codes, some of which may be quite different from the ones that we followed for our first half-century or so.  It’s never too late to “screw your courage to the sticking place”, think things through for yourself, drop old, worn-out emotional baggage, and set yourself free to experience life in new ways!

In friendship, Sue Ellen Cooper, Founder and Exalted Queen Mother of The Red Hat Society
For more information on Sue Ellen Cooper click here.


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